Through a series of events I found myself unexpectedly sitting down with a girlfriend. Our friendship is new and my insecurities have created doubts. I’ve been praying over our friendship for a few months and feel as if today there was a break through.
We were having a conversation and through the course of it I found myself opening up to her about what’s been going on inside lately. I was hesitant at first, my heart started pounding and thoughts raced through my mind; is this safe, will I be a burden, I hope I don’t cry, maybe she’ll think I’m pathetic?
All untrue, I know, but nevertheless impactful. She softly reassured me that I don’t have to talk about it if I didn’t want to… could she read my thoughts or maybe my facial expression. I was yearning to talk but couldn’t find the words, I haven’t spoken to anyone about this before.
I ended up having a genuine conversation with her and it felt good to let it out, especially with her. She spoke into it with such warmth and love, I felt Gods blessing over our conversation.
One thing she said stood out; “it matters because you are valued”. Wow. I have never thought of myself as valued. Coming from her it meant so much. I’ve pondered this thought of value over the remainder of the night. How special that she views me as valued? God views me as valued. I am valued.
This is such a contradiction to how I’ve constantly viewed myself, I’ve been doubting my worth and viewing myself in such a negative way; a failure because I can’t seem to get better, a burden if I ever opened up to someone, immature because what if I’m just petty.. it goes on.
For someone to tell me that what I’m going through matters because I am valued.. hit me so hard. I can’t fathom it yet but I can feel my perspective changing. I’m so grateful for our conversation today.
– c x